Can I text the alleged victim if she texts me first?
No, and this is the single most common way people in domestic violence cases create a second case.
The no-contact order was entered by a judge and it restricts *your* conduct. It doesn't restrict hers. If she calls, texts, emails, shows up, or sends a message through a friend, none of that authorizes you to respond.
Her having initiated is not a defense. Prosecutors are familiar with this exact fact pattern, and courts see it constantly.
What makes it worse: the messages are recoverable, and a violation frequently comes to light through her phone rather than yours.
What to do instead. Don't respond, at all, to anything. Save the message rather than deleting it — it may be relevant later, including to show a pattern. Then tell your attorney immediately.
If there's something that genuinely needs to be communicated — about children, about a shared home, about finances — that goes through counsel or through the court, not through you.
Don't answer. Save it, and call your lawyer. ---
Talk to an Attorney — Free
An answer on a page isn't the same as advice about your case. Talk to an attorney who handles these matters on the Treasure Coast — free and confidential.